Lost In The Land Of Assumptions

We've all been there. It's a place I refer to as the land of assumptions. We have no responses to questions we've asked, information requested, opinions needed, or just conversation from someone we consider to have valuable input. And sometimes it's just friendly conversation or clarification with a friend that we're needing.

So, we shoot off a proposal, or an email to a friend, or leave a phone message, or send a text and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And we get...

S
I
L
E
N
C
E

Nothing. Dead-air. And we're left to wonder...has this person become ill? Have they been kidnapped? Were they hit by a bus? Are they mad? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something to upset them? Did they agree? Do they not agree? Do they care? Are we still friends? Have they moved? Are we moving forward? Backward? Have they changed their mind? Do they need more information? Do they need more time?

The more time that passes between the communication or conversation we initiated, the less important the communication in return seems. So those questions keep circling. Sometimes we assume the answer. And when we assume, we're either going to assume the positive or negative response.

Negative:
They weren't interested.
They think it's unimportant.
They don't really care.
They're just a big meanie who's ignoring me.

Positive:
They are just really busy, and will repond later.
They are out of town, but will contact me after their return.
They are interested, but seeking further information or guidance.
They are really interested, but don't want to show it.

If we are the person who is on the receiving end and waiting for a response from someone, we need to chill out. Ask, wait, and if after a week or so there is no response, assume that you should move on. But, don't assume you know why. Assuming is risky. And it's like saying we can read minds. We can't. We can take an educated guess, but we can't read minds.

So, you may not ever know what you wanted to know, hear what you needed to hear, learn what you wanted to learn, get opinions from those you respected to ask, or communicate with those you sought to communicate with, but you won't have assumed wrong. Don't assume. Just move on. And if the individual ever comes back and wants to know why you did so, explain to them that there was a lack of communication, but not that you assumed anything.

Besides-if we assume and we assume wrong-might we be guilty of gossip within our own mind and heart of *why* we didn't receive a response, because we don't actually know and have assumed from the get go? Just a thought. On the flip side, I also will be sure to respond to individuals to make sure I don't leave them to jump to assumptions.

After all, it would really bum me out to think that someone assumed the wrong thing because of my own lack of response. I just might miss out on something I indeed wanted very much. And, I'm not willing to assume the opportunity will always exist.

Assume nothing, seize everything, and communicate to avoid confusion. If you do not, your lack of communication will set you up for failure from the get go. Without proper and timely communication, assumptions will win every time. And why would we risk what we really care about to something like an assumption that is usually incorrect? Are we honestly willing to risk things we care about to incorrect assumptions?

If people are assuming, they are probably lost. Stop and help them. Communicate regularly and stop the assumptions. It just might save something you care about.