Godly Nightlights

I must admit when I got home tonight, I needed to figure out where I was on the spiritual radar. I needed an air-traffic controller to tell me where I was in relation to God. I don't mean that I was far away from him. It felt like he was so close, yet I couldn't find my next direction no matter how hard I tried. If he were telling me to head north, I couldn't tell if I was headed south. If he wanted move up, I was heading down. If he was pointing to the left, I was heading right. I was near him, but I just couldn't hear him concerning my direction and the path I need to take right now.

For whatever reason, I felt drawn to take a walk. I grabbed my mp3 player and did the normal search for my ear buds only to find that my son had "accidentally" forgotten to tell me they were now broken (kitty cat got 'em). I still felt so compelled to go that I grabbed the next best thing. I grabbed my headphones and microphone for my laptop. Yes...I went for a walk wearing a regular miked up headset. It was kind of funny, but it did work.

By the time I got out the door, it was very dark. As I started walking, I found myself drawn to the wondrous and majestic Kansas sky. The stars were so bright and there was nothing to drown out the view as my feet pounded the sidewalk. Soon though, I found myself leary of the dark. There were big trees along the side walks which meant spider webs. In order to alleviate those fears and not break my neck, I decided the street would be spider and crack free. In addition to spiders, I was worried about the cracks. Our side walks in town are so horrible, and at night you can't see the unevenness and the cracks no matter how hard you try. I figured the streets would be more level, and I could avoid having to explain to people that I broke an ankle by walking down the sidewalk in the dark.

The longer I walked the more focused I became on the Christian music lyrics and how they seemed to speak to me about God. Who he is, who I am, and how much I love Him! His love excites me! Just knowing who He is is indescribable. Spending time with Him is peaceful, joyful, and it filled me with a sense of awe! It's really more than what I am capable of describing really. I felt the longer I walked the more lost in Him I became. The world seemed to disappear in some aspects. The homes along the streets didn't capture my attention. The trees didn't matter. The cars passing by could have easily run over me, and I would've not really cared!

My focus was not on what was going on around me. At this point in time, I was truly focused on what God was doing within me. God was lighting my internal fire-that all consuming passion for Him. It was like walking right in line with my Creator, the God of the Universe! It was phenominal and wonderous, and just inspiring!

Soon, the song, Shine by After The Chase started playing on my mp3 player and carried my walk one step further.

Here's a glimpse at the lyrics:

When I feel like giving up
When I feel like letting go
When I know my heart is
Is blacker than the night
I know You don’t give up
And I know You don’t let go
And I know Your heart is
Is brighter than the sun

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
You are the sun to me
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
You shine Your light on me

My eyes they led me to a place
Where I felt so far from grace
And I wore a weight of
Of guilt and darkness there
I know You don’t give up
And I know You don’t let go
And I know Your heart is
Is brighter than the sun

Come and shine Your light on me
I need Your light to be
Brighter than the dark that
Sets me apart from You

I’m sorry Lord for how it’s been
All about me
All about me
How I let the days slip on

Entertaining me but You’re waking me

As I walked, I replayed this song several times. I thought about how at any moment on the dark streets, there could have been someone ready to jump out from behind the cars parked along the sides. It was dark and with thoughts like this, it was scary to be a woman walking in the dark alone. However, I got a little relief from that dark when I walked past a street light. In that little bit of light, it didn't seem as scary! I noticed each light. I started thinking about the light and hoped that I'd come across another one soon.

It became about the light. Come and shine your light on me. I can see the light now. And as you read this, you might want to replace the word light with the word HOPE. Because of the light, I can see the hope now. I have been completely blessed to see light (hope). And now by living my life as God has called me to, by living my life to be more Christ-focused, I can shine in the dark so others may begin to see the light, which is Christ. Hope is in Christ.

If we Christians are shining, because of the light we have been given, and we are in fact casting light in the dark, we must go INTO the dark where the light can be seen.

If we merely take the light that we have been given and keep it on in the safe areas-areas of light...

inside the safety of our church walls,
inside the safety of our own homes,
only in the parts of town considered by most as safe

We are not creating more light or helping people find their way out of the darkness. Light can create more light. Hope can create more hope. Your light can light the way for another. And their light can light the way for another. And another. And another. And all that light leads to hope. And hope is Christ. And Christ leads us to our Creator.

Light in the darkness leads us to light because we can see it.

Light in the light is hard to see. And those who need hope, those who need the light are looking for someone willing to take the light into the scary parts of this dark world. If we don't go, who will? Darkness will keep darkness to avoid exposing what it really is.

Dark conceals pain.
Dark conceals suffering.
Dark conceals wrong.
Dark conceals sin.
Dark conceals hope.

As Christians, if we live our lives outwardly and take the light (hope) we have been given out and into the dark and remote places of our communities, the scary places we'd rather not go, and the places we stay away from, we could begin to change the dark into the light. But if we keep our light in the light, the dark will never become light, because they can't witness what the light really is. Light creates hope. Light reveals flaws. Light exposes sin and begins to transform lives. The light exposes the truth.

As Christians, churches, and communities, we should be lighting the world by using our light to find those without and share the light with them.

It's time for our light to shine where those in the dark can see it. If we are truly plugged in to the Creator, we should certainly let him use us as His nightlights as he reaches His people in all dark corners of the world and every dim place in between.

Comparing Sin To The Midway

It's that time of year. The beginning of the school year, the Kansas State Fair hits town, and schedule shifts, changes, and work life becomes total chaos. It means I blog a little less for a spell, but things will calm soon. I am so counting on that!

I took my kids to the fair twice this year. The first time was on the dollar night where every ride is just a buck. It's a single mother's best option and the ride tickets go a LONG way! As we walked around the midway, I found myself noticing how everything looked so enticing.

The flashing lights.
The hip, but inappropriate music lyrics.
The undressed and partially dressed people.
The inappropriate dress.
The sexy allure of the young generation to "be part of the crowd".
The harsh language.
The food that clogs our arteries and how we eat as much of it as we can.
The fast and slick people who design the games to leave us more than broke.
The temptation to stick around even though it is really time to leave.

The night at the fair turned into something that reminded me so much of sin. At first it may seem enticing. It may have an allure. And we think we can stay on top of it. Control it. Until we realize that the initial temptation and self control we thought we had has prevented us too from stepping away from it when we knew we should have.

It's like that evil roller coaster that looked so cool at first. But once we got in and sat down, we couldn't get out. We were strapped in to something out of control, spinning, going upside down, and what started as fun turned into sheer terror. I think we've all been in those kinds of situations when we think that we can just get off the ride whenever we want to.

Sin is like being on a death ride that doesn't stop until every passenger has his life sucked out of him or her, and Satan is in the control tower.

The entire first night as I looked around, I just kept asking God, "How? Why? Does this break your heart after all you have done for us?" I just imagined God looking down from heaven onto this filthy, stinky, sin filled earth, and wondered what it is like for him to see this. I can't even fathom the grace He extends to us, the redemption in His perfect son that He has given us, and the love He has for each of us. I know if it were me, I'd snap my fingers and all of mankind would be dust. I'm sure that's because I have an attitude instead of grace. I'm aware of my short-comings and faults, lol!

Thinking about that really had an impact on my heart. And I am still thinking about how that makes me want to change the way I see those tempting neon signs that flash when sin is trying to captivate me. I hope that this will be a constant reminder of how slick and sneaky sin can be.

I don't care how sin is disguised to look fun or glamorous or hip. It's one ride I don't want to wait in line to ride, and I certainly don't want to explain to God that I actually purchased a ticket for it.

Focus On The Truth

Last night I had one of the longest phone conversations of my life. I was being grilled about Christianity, the Bible, and Jesus like I never imagined. Those simple questions I could answer just by referencing scripture and knowing what I'd learned during Bible study and my own study. But where it got too deep was when I was asked about unbiblical things, science, words and things I didn't understand and had never heard of, individual theory, and other religions and their bibles and other gods.

Before I knew it, the truth started being distorted as I referenced it directly from the Bible. I was being challenged on everything! There's no hell? Really? Hmmm...that's not what my Bible says! You can do anything you want? God doesn't judge? The Bible is incomplete? There's more we need to know and figure out from our own scientific theories? The Bible is full of errors? Two hour and 30 minutes worth of this, and me sitting in fear. Wow. I was not only ripping my hair out, but for many, many, many reasons, this was a very difficult situation.

Colossians 2:8 (New International Version)

⁸See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.

So, after all the events that occurred, I was left feeling less than prime this morning. I knew I had a choice to make. I could believe what fear and this situation of control were feeding me, or I could find my focus and put my focus on Jesus again. I opted for the latter, although I wasn't sure exactly how I'd get there. Jesus is always the answer no matter how difficult the problem is! I blogged the blog entry, What If Christians... (the entry below this one), emailed an individual, and knew something changed. As I wrote that blog entry-it all changed. And suddenly, it was turning into a very positive thing! A TCE moment! (This changes EVERYTHING!)

I decided to get some lunch, so I grabbed my keys to head to my favorite "I'm poor, but hungry" restaurant (Taco Bell) to get out of the house for a few minutes. And on the Christian radio station was this song, The Voice Of Truth (with lyrics) Casting Crowns (follow the link to listen). I counted my quarters and cried at the drive-thru. (That was a beautiful moment ;-) I had chosen by making a conscious decision to put my focus back on who I am in Christ and not focus on the lies, deceit, and fear. And even though I didn't know the steps I was going to have to take to get back there, God reached me right where I was. The whole unpleasant experience became something that honored Him. I heard the voice of truth. I was reminded of truth. And I had stood firm, with my feet firmly planted and not wavering on my faith as I was battled on two very sensitive areas of my life. One being domestic violence and the second, trying to discredit my faith and drown me.

I didn't drown. I focused on truth. And the truth took me right back to where I was before I got side-swiped. It took me back full circle, where I started out strong and in the truth. There is nothing wrong with me, and there is Jesus. The opposition tried to get me from two sensitive angles at the same time through his lies and fear! I was not prepared for a multiple angle ambush! And, I learned I need not fear. I just chose to focus on Jesus even though I didn't know HOW I would be able to get back. And, I was rescued, and not a moment too late.

I wanted to share this with everyone.

When you start doubting, focus on the voice of truth. It's the only voice you need.

Don't let the opposition distort the truth. Just choose Jesus as the truth, and He'll rescue you!

Sharpen your swords, armor up, and equip yourself with the truth!

And listen to and enjoy the song. Turn it UP and sing it LOUD!

2 Peter 2:18 For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error.

What If Christians...

My son is the king of the "what-if's" in my house. But today, I am going to ask:

What if?

What if as Christians we kept all of our hurts to ourselves?
What if we never talked about our doubts?
What if we never shared our personal experiences?
What if we never never specified our prayer needs and always left our requests generic?
What if we never admitted we felt defeat?
What if we never admitted we needed support?
What if we never admitted we screwed up?
What if we never admitted we sinned?
What if we never admitted we were sick?
What if we never admitted we had addictions and needed help to over come them?
What if we never admitted that our relationships were suffering?
What if we never admitted we'd been abused in in a violent relationship?
What if we never admitted we'd been wrong?
And more importantly, what if we never answered those who sought us for the above?

What if?

If we never admitted our brokenness, never allowed anyone to see the transparent people we are, would we be a false image of Christians who live perfect lives making each other feel that we had to continue to hide? Would we be able to help or assist others who have been in the same circumstances of situations? Would we know we could share resources and success stories? Would we be able to offer each other HOPE or pray for each other?

Or would we just seem like Christians who are just peachy when in reality our jars were just too broken to carry all the peaches? Are the beans spilling out of your jar, yet those around you don't know why? I'm not suggesting each person walk around and tell the world about their brokenness and we focus on negativity. But, at the same time, we need to realize that what makes us broken can make us complete. We can share and start the restoration process.

It's no secret anymore. I am a survivor of domestic violence. And I stopped hiding it. Does it change who I am? Does it make me weaker or needy? Does it imply that I did anything to deserve it? Does it mean that I am incapable of future relationships or standing my ground? NO, NO, NO! The only thing that allowed that kind of thinking was my own hidden shame. Keeping it a secret, was the only thing making it a secret. So, I'm a survivor and I can kick some *donkey*. I'm sharing my story. Why? Because I am NOT a victim. I am a survivor and now there can be two people (one drawing strength from me-and me giving the strength that I gained). There can be TWO chicks capable of kicking *donkey* in the name of survival. And each time a story is shared, it just means that the number of survivors increases. For each survivor the opposition looses!

If you think that testosterone can win a war...you ain't seen anything till you witness some estrogen in action.

Doesn't stand a chance. Period.

Christians-come together and BE Christians to each other. Stop hiding! When we try and fight alone, we give the opposition fuel, doubt, and everything He needs to defeat us!

Remember:
Straight from the Bible...
Ecclesiastes 4:12
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.


If your story and account of personal success can give one person a glimmer of hope, to overcome the obstacles, defeat, and hurt...wouldn't it be better to show them the scars from a healed battle than to let them only focus on theirs as they lay wide open and gaping? Could part of the healing process be admitting that our brokenness is not defeat and something to hide? Could we start celebrating our victories and focusing on the future full of bright possibilities?

We hide what we are ashamed of. And sometimes those things are not our fault. But we continue to keep them hidden.

Abandonment
Abuse
Addictions
Loss
Depressions
Disabilities
Divorce
Sin

To me, it just seems logical that the restoration cannot begin until it is brought into the light. Why? The surgeon can't see to fix anything while it's stuck in a dark closet. Bring it to where the light and tools are!

The tools:
Acknowledgement (That it needs to be out in the open and get fixed. Even if it's between just two people.)
Prayer
Scripture
Church
Community of believers
Support of Small groups
Loved ones
Anyone else beneficial to your team

We are not a perfect church, filled with perfect people, living perfect lives. Have you ever wondered...what if the opposition wants each of us to sit and suffer in silence in times of our greatest needs? What better way than to make us think we are alone when we certainly do not have to be.

What if we changed this?